6 weeks ago I experienced a moment that altered the journey that I was on. I slipped. I fell. I messed up good. I didn’t intend for it to happen, but a careless moment of pride caused brokenness and pain. That one decision to jump ended up causing grief for others too, as my now broken story intersected with theirs. It changed our collective journey as the things we had wanted to experience, we didn’t. Longed-for dreams went unrecognized. I grieved what would never be and then a journey of healing from that break began.
It put me in the humble position of not being able to do things on my own and having to rely on others…it limited what I was capable of contributing and experiencing. It made me dependent. I had to rest and wait and heal and receive grace.
But today a Happy Day! A milestone that indicated that though it didn’t feel like it, healing was happening. Even though there was still lingering bruising and twinges of painful reminders of the break, things were indeed mending. Today, I can walk again on two legs. I want to run and jump and dance and do yoga and climb stairs. But for now, I must be disciplined and teach myself to walk again. I must take the time to do this right, to set up good practices so that I can return to full health and create the right cadence that will carry me through the future. It’s hard to ‘just’ walk when you want to leap and run unrestrained, but the slow pace is so worth it to be reformed into something strong and lasting. I’m being refashioned into something new.
“I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” The Bible, Jeremiah 18:3-4